Aas the morning sun rises
there is a knock on the door.
baby waits, with tear drop dripping down her stone cold cheeks
the winter sharp air runs through the empty hallway
the knock grows louder, the door vibrates and the wall ornaments breaks.
as the door open the baby is swift away.
Dry saliva pasted on her face
dirt from two weeks ago
stained on her pink pajama pants.
One look in the childs face leaving in the crisp morning led to trauma and days of unrest sleep.
the whole house stood still
the flowers in the kitchen table
seem at the moment as if they changed a pale color.
Everything at this moment seem unworthy and killed every soul in this dark house of evil
As the chld weeps heavily so does everybody else
I really liked this. I liked your word usage with things like "Stone Cold Cheeks", and I liked how you really got into detail with the pajama pants. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThis is a confusing poem simply because it is hard to imagine what exactly the writer is talking about. From what i understood its about a child who was left alone so the whole world is sad with the child. Either way this poem seems to be very symbolic to the reality of a cruel world. Its a good poem.
ReplyDeleteSomething tragic is going between all the great descriptive words but theres still a bit of clarity I think needs to be revised. I liked it I just wish I knew what was going on in the end like a riddle. You always find out the answer in the end right? Unless confusion is what your trying to portray with the baby's consistant crying.
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