Riding on the 5 train

Stand clear of the closing doors !!

I hear the conductor exclaim

As I sit across the seat I notice a homeless woman

Sit from across me.

Face so pale and dirty.

Shopping cart filed with many things.

I wonder how old she is

And why she is homeless.

As she faces me I start to see more things about her.

Her hair as brown as the sand on coney island beach

The dirt around her face as thick as a baby skin

Next stop church avenue!!

I suddenly get up to exit

A filthy dixie cup is alongside this woman

I stare her in her eyes

Eyes so cold, almost non human

And colorful as if I was looking in a cat’s eye.

And hand her a dollar

The coldness and hoplesness in her face

 soon went away

And she smiled , without saying a word

One day

I listen to the old brown rusted old school radio

That sits at the front of my dresser

While I try to fall asleep

The only thing that is beating my air drums

Is the sounds of Donny Hathaway and Luther Vandross

While I close my eyes I vision lovers on the beach

Hand to hand frolicking with every beat

Beat matching the tempo and rhythm of the song

Oh how I love to listen to songs that take me back

Back to the place where my mother and father fell in love

Back to a era in time when music was real music

And people wanted to start peace

Instead of committing crimes

Maybe one day we will get back to that place

And then I will open my eyes

And will feel at peace

Reflection

While I sit here on the bench

I see many things and imagery

A couple romancing at the park in front of a picnic basket

His lips pressed on to hers

While her hair flow in the rhythm of the wind.

The food aroma roaming through the sky.

I wonder many things about the couple,

Are  they married?

Are they really in love?

A hand touches my shoulder

And I notice that the couple is me and my lover

And truly I can say

Yes I am married

And yes I am in love

Suicide (Revision)

Dark images cloud my head

All I see is black and gray swirls everywhere

Demonic voices run through my head

How can I make it stop?

Jump!! Jump!! the voices say

Should I jump or save the soul that’s in me.

Colorful flowers turn a pale shade of gray

The sky which was once a bright blue color

Turns into a brown cemented color.

I close my eyes and feel a hot breath  pressed against my neck

A cold chilled air hits my skin

Goosebumps draws down my arms

Beaded sweat trickles down my forehead.

I can not take this no more .

I must follow these voices in my head that tells me to jump

I count backwards to ten

10, 9, 8…..

As I draw closer to the edge

7,6,5,4…

The pavement turns bloody red

Red splatter all through the cars on the sidewalk

I have relenquish my soul into the darkness

God please  have mercy on me.

Lost Soul (Revision)

If you ask me I would respond
I have no soul, and no heart.
The air that I breathe is suffocating me
my lungs cry out in horrific agony
my throat close up
please help me fight this pain.
the words I cannot respond
please help me I am trapped
trapped in a world where there is no purity
and all good things and people fade into black
the smell of sulfur burns the inside of my nose.
The only thing that I see
is a dark narrow hole
filled with demons.
Spikes around their face
and all of them with tongue of a snake..
As I look in the sky
rustic red colors swirl through the sky
No sun lives here
No happiness, No children
only sinners and heathens
who must pay for their actions throughout eternity

His Touch

As I lay next to him
I feel safe for once.
his soft velvet skin brushes against mine
why do I feel like crying right now
Is it because he is my first love
or that the world seem to stop when he enters my thoughts.
his lips soft like a baby's bottom
when it is pressed against mine
Is this lust?
my legs get weak when he come around
Am I being seduce by him?
his body make me loose my train of thought
I came to the conclusion that he is mind raping me
this is the best feeling ever
and I do not want it to ever stop
let this feeling last until eternity

REJECTION

I wait for a special message from him
a message in which I can share with all my friends.
his lips quiver and shake before he tells me the message
his palms get all sweaty, and beads of sweat trickle down his forehead
the room stands still as if god press the pause button on his remote control
my hearts beats faster, you can hear it pumping through my strapless diamond beaded covered dress
the rain stops outside and the sky suddenly clears up.
It is the middle of winter and outside look like spring as just began
As he get on his knees he blurted out four simple words, every woman dream of
WILL YOU MARRY ME!!
I respond back with no
the sky suddenly turns grayish
his face turns into stone
and all my surroundings turns black

No SOUL

If you  ask me Iwould respond
I have no soul, and no heart.
The air that I breathe
the words I can not respond
please help me, I am trapped
trapped in a world were there is no purity.
Ashes, to Ashes
Sulfur in the making
What I see is a dark hole
filled with demons,
spikes around their face
different demons, different motives for me to follow.
Rustic red colors swirl through the sky
No sun lives here, No happiness
only sinners and heathens who skin is tormented from sharp metal spikes
and body's limp from doing a long work of hard labor.

Suicide

Dark images cloud my thoughts
voices run through my head.
one question chanllenges me
should I jump? or save this soul that is inside me
colorful flowers turn a pale shade.
the sky which once a bright vibrant color, is now grayish
everything around is closing in on me.
I feel Satans breath breathing down my neck.
the hot air stings my whole body
I cant take it no more.
this is my time to jump
I count backwards to ten
as I draw in closer to the edge.
red all through the concrete pavement
I have just relenquish my soul into he darkness.
god have mercy on me..

As The Child Weeps

Aas the morning sun rises
there is a knock on the door.
baby waits, with tear drop dripping down her stone cold cheeks
the winter sharp air runs through the empty hallway
the knock grows louder, the door vibrates and the wall ornaments breaks.
as the door open the baby is swift away.
Dry saliva pasted on her face
dirt from two weeks ago
 stained on her pink pajama pants.
One look in the childs face leaving in the crisp morning led to trauma and days of unrest sleep.
the whole house stood still
the flowers in the kitchen table
seem at the moment as if they changed a pale color.
Everything at this moment seem unworthy and killed every soul in this dark house of evil
As the chld weeps heavily so does everybody else