Dark images cloud my thoughts
voices run through my head.
one question chanllenges me
should I jump? or save this soul that is inside me
colorful flowers turn a pale shade.
the sky which once a bright vibrant color, is now grayish
everything around is closing in on me.
I feel Satans breath breathing down my neck.
the hot air stings my whole body
I cant take it no more.
this is my time to jump
I count backwards to ten
as I draw in closer to the edge.
red all through the concrete pavement
I have just relenquish my soul into he darkness.
god have mercy on me..
very dark in a way, and also descriptive this poem had me really thinking
ReplyDeleteThis poem is kinda sad in a way and the line "the hot air stings my whole body" actually made me get goosebumps. The title itself gives off a sense of darkness, to let people know what to expect, and the author seems to be really depressed at this point.
ReplyDeleteI love this. My favorite line was " I feel Satans breath breathing down my neck.
ReplyDeletethe hot air stings my whole body" That's really deep, and even though I don't believe in Satan you truly took the feeling of suicide and what I could only imagine what it would feel like. Good job.
Very deep and interesting poem. I like the imagery and the picture it paints. I can actually picture everything from the feelings this person is feeling to his emotions and thoughts. its has a gloomy mysterious and scary feeling towards it. Its different and unique at the same time to me. The metaphors especially are insane. "colorful flowers turn a pale shade" very nice.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is really deep and dark. I could almost feel it when you said "I feel Satan's breathe breathing down my neck." Very good job.
ReplyDeleteThis poem alot of images. I thought i was standing next to you and was ready to jump with you
ReplyDelete